Summary

Well, shall I start like everybody does? Introduce the course? Thought it would be a boring one and eventually find it interesting, and finally a hundred thousand thanks to our beloved Mr. Jafre?

Honestly I did not aspect the class will be carry out like the way we did, Where we can have lot of interaction in the class, sharing and listening to Mr. Jafre experience and story, its feel really good, I like freestyle, unlike other class that was bound to a syllabus. The first two or three discussion indeed seems to be quite a boring one , but when it gradually come to song interpretation, lyrics compose, the class become more lively, knowing that this were the element which will spice us up. Mr. Jafre really did a good job in giving us freedom in talking and way of doing our presentation. Whatever we throw to him, he received it all in an open mind and heart, very positively. That’s what I like about him.

I first thought, and actually quite confident that I might score well in this subject but when I find myself now still working hard on the blog which I miss for the pass few months, I knew that I am gone, hopeless. I can’t help but to admit my laziness bought me to this end, and I am so helpless.

I knew I was too much as Mr. Jafre has given us so much extra time but yet I still take it for granted, I deserve it. You treat us too generous, which has made me fallen down now. Anyway I like your easy going character inspire me, I like everything to goes the way it should, so naturally in happen to be so.

So far as I had seen, majority of the students like us tend to like topics that we like, but definitely not something regarding to politics, history or may be religion. We always avoid to get involve in those current issues and pretend that the campus is our world, so when it come to discussion about independence and religion, it seems to be less talking in the class. That is what I had observed from the few months we took this course. We have had very little awareness to the reality, the real world, I think most us did. It’s not a good sign. May be this is the reason Mr. Jafre divulge all these during the class discussion, it might help somehow.

I am so fond of the style of the class, the freestyle which I always dream of, not much rules and regulation applied. Not much burden. But I still can’t hand in my work on time, shame on me. Anyway I hope that the LHP459 will keep the way it is and if Mr. Jafre will be conduct the same class ever, I wish that he could have give the student some pressure on the due date of the blog or whatever assignment submission.

My heart will go on Vs. My heart won’t go

Rainy day I’ll miss you
In moonlight I’ll see you
And I wonder if love comes by

There are times when I cry
You cheer up my whole life
Then I wonder if love comes by

True, false… I really can’t sort
Falling deep down so slowly but real
In love, that’s not what my will
I just want you to stay by my side
…all long night

Hold me not or I’ll leave
Let go me, it’s too much
Solitude me, leave me alone

Turn back times, hold back tears
Take deep breath, put grin on
There is always better tomorrow

Peers, love…I think now I sorted
Falling deep down to you seem fool
In love, I don’t want it all
I believe that I’ll live my life
all by myself my way.

I compose almost all the song, and it was like few weeks or months back.
Looking, reading and singing this recall me about things that happen to me at that moment.
Sometimes I can’t really distinguish between love and friends. I have a lot of platonic relationship. Indeed part of the song is actually my own story, at least its part of my feeling and some thought.
So many I hold myself back when ever people tend to treat me good, I think I just afraid, I am fear for falling to anybody. I am exactly a chicken. It happen so many times that I thought that was love, and then I stand still and dare not to move forward, I dare not to take the risk of losing, may be a friend. I dare not to face differences in life on the way we moving to the future.
This should have flesh back to the incident few years back that I put in all, and was hurt badly. Ever since then I become a very protective and defensive girl, but at the same time I wish that someone will somehow appears in my boring life to stimulate some different elements. I was such a spear and shield (proverb in Chinese which mean I am go against my own self.)
Let me explain the lyrics stanza by stanza
Stanza I
Rainy day I’ll miss you
In moonlight I’ll see you
And I wonder if love comes by

Obviously I telling that I will all the time missing the person whoever he is. Where I’ll miss him in the in the day and night, that even I’ll see him in the moonlight. But the problem is I am still not sure that is that kind of feeling call love? A question I always doubt.

Stanza II
There are times when I cry
You cheer up my whole life
Then I wonder if love comes by

Whenever I am feeling down, I’ll cry to him and he’ll eventually make me smile and bright up the day. So again I wonder is this love? Or simply care out of friendship? I doubt that again.

Stanza III
True, false… I really can’t sort
Falling deep down so slowly but real
In love, that’s not what my will
I just want you to stay by my side
…all long night

And so that I can’t distinguish the trueness of the feeling of love, but gradually I found that I am actually falling into it, gradually I addicted to the good he did to me. But I keep on telling myself I don’t want to fall in love to anybody, this kind of relationship is not what I want. I just want that there will be always someone beside me, what a selfish thought.

Stanza IV
Hold me not or I’ll leave
Let go me, it’s too much
Solitude me, leave me alone

I can’t help but to beg him to not treating me good anymore, don’t get any closer or I’ll leave, and his good being too much till I can’t take it anymore. I wanted to isolate myself, I wish I could live alone. Can I?

Stanza V
Turn back times, hold back tears
Take deep breath, put grin on
There is always better tomorrow
How I hope that time can turn back to when we do not know each other or just to the moment I realize that there is something wrong so that I can hold myself on time. Since I do not have the authority to do so, I have to bold back my tears, take a deep breath, in and out, put on a faking stupid, but confident looking smile and walk on my way, cause we always optimistically believe that there is always a better day ahead, await.

Stanza VI
Peers, love…I think now I sorted
Falling deep down to you seem fool
In love, I don’t want it all
I believe that I’ll live my life
all by myself my way.

Every now and then I remind myself to stay in sensible, that that was only friend, and friendship always last longer. I laugh at myself for being such a fool to almost bury a life long relationship. I don’t really need anybody to supply me anything or stimulate any element into my life. Cause present seems so good to me, and I still not ready for any changes.

Mine seems to be too sentimental but anyway Susan had made Mr. Jafre a funny comedy one. Good job everybody.