A few days ago, I have this thought to start writing about this...
I am a person who needs a lot of attention.
I like to be under the lime light.
Most of the time, I do not function really well in a group of people.
Through out the year, I find myself very sensitive over being abandon.
As sensitive as I am, I need a lot of focus in myself.
I need more self assurance then any others....
But I pretend as I do not need it, cause I'd given myself enough.
However, it always feel good to get compliment, right...
So I do welcome it.
Over the years, I gradually turn into a non-group animal.
I live with pairs. I have made a numbers of close friends.
Where by we spend a lot of time being just 2 of us.
I enjoyed the time, when their focus is on me and mine on them.
I have Jasmine, I have aLx, I have Jean, Sus, QY, CherRu, Reis, Kevin.
and I have had Lee Seng Cang too.
Those people who made me think I am special.
I am always grateful with their existence in my life.
As from the previous post I shared about the play I went to watch alone
I mentioned that we are all lonely cause we do not know how to express ourselves truly.
I always acted that I am able to do all things alone,
I can't understand people who can't dine out alone or watch a movie alone.
I do this quite frequently....I am a loner.
On one perspective, it really sound cool and yes, indeed to act alone, it's much less trouble...
You save a lot of time waiting for another, compromising your choice, and things like that.
But few days ago, I felt so defeated and weak...
The feeling of loneliness sudden attacks makes me so dejected...
I'd always be the one, who encourage Jas and aLx to be strong and positive...
But that day, I think I almost join them...
The reality is, there are times, that you'll fall...
However I am grateful that God will always be there for me.
Today, I return to Him and again never fail to re-bounce in Him.
Have a great time sharing with the brothers and sisters after my first jamming session.
Thanks Sister JingJing who remind me of what really counts in our life.
She said, when she found out that she was not invited to some of the friends wedding,
she felt somehow upset, but when she think about it again,
are all these really matter that much?
I am always amazed by His great plan in my life,
that He'd put wonderful people in my life who enrich me.
in Lord we LoVe