I am SORRY, I can't help

If you have seen me lately, you know my life is in a big mess, my nest is in a big mess, my final year project is in a big mess, I have to surrender and admit that I am in a deep big shit
-" life sucks" quote Jaya beside me.

I have to get my things all pack up today and move my ass off that room in N Paark,
parasite in some anybody's room, I mean i still don't know where to...
interview with aLtera which I have not prepare the resume and Japanese writing they wanted,
Finish my fucking FYP which keep procrastinate itself week after week
Do my last interpretation test on Wednesday?/Thursday?
Grab some clothing for the BATI dinner before Friday, the DAY
Attend the grooming RETRO night
Drive back to KL the very next day, unload all the 4 years stuffs I keep here,
More interview, with Japan Embassy-Monday, JAC-Tuesday
Drive back to return the car to Bidor,
catch a bus back to KL...
WHAT THE FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!

This is not the point, I am sorry because I got a bad news from Miaw Ling.
She never send me a written mail, she did yesterday. I guess she felt very helpless now,
the grandma is in critical condition, once a brain cancer survival, got her second attack several years after that.
The doctor is being very pessimist, they had send her home, counting days...
Suddenly I felt so small, that there are so little that I can do.
I reply her message, hopefully I can pay her a visit on Saturday before I go back to KL.
Jasmine, the other day's outing was not very ideal for me as well. I was darn fuck up with all the stacked up task. But when you sms me, I know that you have been missing me a lot, so I decided to go out with you. Sorry I was not being a caring enough friend there then. I wish I can compensate some time later. I am really BUSY right now, struggling to catch a breath, as if I am going to drown in to deep sea...

Samuel call me yesterday, I gave up a 1.5k 3 days job....I am too busy...
I can hear the dripping of blood in my heart...
oh baby$$$, not thaat mummy don't want you...
but...
I am sorry, I really can't help

*got to meet Madelyn before I leave

I feel blue
=DeN=